Long Lost Blog

We've had an interesting week since my last post; let me start on Tuesday.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling anxious - not with trepidation, but with excitement: If my ultrasound looked good today I would be able to go back to work part-time. Scott and I went to the office together and waited for over half an hour to be called back. The ultrasound tech did my measurements they were not good. They were so poor in fact, that when the doctor came in he told me that I was no longer on Modified Bedrest, but Strict Bedrest. He told me to make a follow-up appointment in two days, and if my measurements had not improved that I would be admitted to the hospital.

I was shocked. I honestly thought that I was going back to work.

Scott and I drove back to work and home in separate vehicles. I had to call my boss and tell him that I definitely was not returning to work for the duration of my pregnancy and that he should look for someone for the next 10 weeks. I went home and laid on the couch and tried not to cry. How could this be happening? Hospitalized? What was going to happen to Caleb? How would Scott manage all of this? By the time Scott got home I had managed to calm myself down enough to put on a brave face. We ate dinner, put Caleb to bed, and both went to bed early, tired from stress.

Wednesday was interesting: Scott had to take over my duties of taking Caleb to and from daycare and I had to spend most of the day in left side lying. For those of you that have not experienced total bedrest the idea of lying in bed and reading may sound really appealing, but believe me, it gets really old, really quick.

Thursday morning I had my follow-up appointment at 9AM. Scott and I took Caleb to daycare and I waited in the car while Scott brought him to his classroom. It was so hard for me to watch the two of them walking in (I have tears in my eyes thinking about it right now) knowing that it may be the last time I dropped Caleb off until after the baby was born. I sat in the car waving to him and blowing kisses while I was fighting back tears. Poor Caleb started to cry as soon as they entered the daycare and continued to cry for his mommy while Scott was walking out of the classroom.

I think we spent most of the 30 minute drive to the doctor's office in silence. I had packed a bag the previous night in case I was admitted. The only things I could think to say to Scott were "I might have forgotten my toothbrush." "I definitely forgot my razor."

I was called back quickly for my appointment, and the measurements were great! I know that this should have been some kind of relief to me, but all I could think about was that I was going to have to keep coming back and riding this emotional roller coaster for another week. Scott was on cloud nine - grinning ear to ear ("I knew everything would be okay.") and I don't know if I was in more shock that it was better or that we would have to continue with the visits. The doctor suggested that I be put on the contraction monitor to rule out any new activity, but if that was okay, that he would see me in a week. The monitor showed some Braxton hicks, and we were sent on our merry way.

So now it is almost a week later and I have to go back tomorrow for another appointment. I am not anxious this time, just frustrated. Hopefully tomorrow will be my last ultrasound and I can continue with normal OB/GYN appointments after this.