Not for the faint-hearted.

Today was one of those days. You know the kind where you wish that you could hide under the covers for another, oh, year, and then come out feeling refreshed and able to face the world?

My day started off really well. Chloe slept 11.5 hours last night (*I know, can you believe it!?!?*) but it turns out that sleeping that well all night meant NO naps greater than 3o minutes all day today. Ugh.

Then I had my typical power struggle with Caleb to get ready for daycare. You'd think now that he is only going three days a week that it would have gotten easier, that he might be excited to play with friends all day. Ahhh, no. So after a mild fit while being buckled into his car seat (I swear, one day a neighbour is going to call Child-Protective Services on me the way he screeches) we finally arrive at daycare and while I am wrestling Chloe and her car seat out of the CRV, Caleb decides to run up the hill besides daycare. Now, I have a few choices:

1. I can calmly talk to him and try to persuade him that coming down the hill is a really good idea.
2. I can use that threatening tone of voice that you don't really like to use around other parents.
3. I can put Chloe down and chase him up the hill, or
4. I can TRICK him into coming down the hill.

I opted for #4, telling him that I was going to win the race to the front door - and it worked... until he wanted to do it again. (sigh)

My husband also had an uncanny sense for calling just as I was putting Chloe down for a nap. Now, the sleep training is working (Hello!?? 11.5 hours!) but she still takes quite a while to settle, and I am always worried that it is daycare calling to say that Caleb has been hurt so I feel like I have to go get the phone. (grumble, grumble)

After my long day with a screaming baby with an upset belly, I go and pick up Caleb who is being quite good. The phone rings (just as I was putting Chloe down of course) Scott tells me that he has been given a free ticket for a baseball game tonight. I tell him to go ahead and not to call because he keeps waking up the baby.

I finally get Chloe to sleep and Caleb has a toy he wants to show me. He comes running and shouting up the stairs but I manage to stop him on the fourth step and tell him we are going to make dessert but we have to be quiet. He turns to go down stairs and falls on his head on the hardwoods. He starts crying and screaming, this wakes Chloe up and the cycle starts again.

Sigh. Hopefully we'll all get some good sleep again tonight.

Sleep Training

Part of the reason why I haven't been great about blogging since Chloe was born, is well, Chloe. The girl is *not* a sleeper.

This is very bizarre for me to adjust to because Caleb was all about sleeping. He put himself to sleep at a very early age, could sleep anywhere and through anything. Sure, we had a bedtime routine that we followed, and we tried to stick to a bedtime, but pretty much when Caleb looked tired, we put him down. Scott even recalls a time that he had something to do in the living room, so he put Caleb in his crib so that he would be safe and returned 5 minutes later to a sleeping baby. No. Joke.



When Chloe first came home from the hospital, she was frightened of her crib - I think it was just too big of a space for her little brain to fathom. We then tried having her sleep in the blue chair that Christy bought for us (Note: Caleb spent weeks 5-9 in this chair due to the severity of his reflux). The chair would work for a while, but she would rarely nap beyond 20 minutes. Keeping her asleep was easy -- if she slept on you or beside you which is how I ended up sleeping in the nursery. We have a double bed in there, which I guess she will use at some point, and that is where we fitfully sleep together, night after night.

Chloe

Caleb

Plus, there was the whole ordeal of getting her to sleep. Rocking, bottles, nursing, singing, pacing, bouncing - you name it, we tried it. Of course, at the advice of lactation consultants, we did not use a pacifier for the first 3 weeks of her life, and she didn't really take to it that well when we tried to introduce it later.



It has not been for lack of trying that she has slept in the bed with me. I have tried over and over again to put her in her crib or the blue chair, but she would not have any of it - or only for 20 minutes at a time.



This past weekend, I decided that I needed to do something pro-active about the sleeping situation. Scott graciously gave me Sunday afternoon to myself and off I went to Borders, planning to buy a book about the Ferber method. When I found the parenting section, I was surprised at the number of books on sleeping. I finally narrowed it down to three: The Ferber Method, Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Baby, and The Baby Whisperer. After briefly skimming, I decided the Ferber method was not for me. We had just spent at week with my niece (who has colic) and letting a baby "cry it out" did not sound like something my nerves could handle.



After getting home and reading both books, I decided that the Baby Whisperer had a method that I felt that I could handle. The premise behind the whole book is putting your child on a routine. In a three hour time frame you feed your child, do an activity with them, and then put them down for an hour and a half nap. You put your child to sleep by tapping their backs while in the crib using a heartbeat rhythm and repeating "Shush". You go to your child when they wake up and help them fall back asleep using the same method. You repeat at 7, 10, 1, and 4, with a bedtime of 7:30 following a bath.



We have been following the plan for two days now, and while Chloe isn't totally on schedule,(she fluctuates between 2.5 and 3 hours) she is successfully sleeping in her crib! (Four hours straight last night!) I know that at 11 weeks this wouldn't be a milestone for some parents, but I could jump up and down I am so excited that we have found something that works for her!



I hope that I haven't jinxed it by writing about it! Last night at 9:00 I was walking around the house. Scott looked at me funny and said "What are you doing?" I told him "I don't know what to do with myself. It's 9:00 and I am not frantically rocking a baby to sleep. I feel weird." He just shook his head and laughed.

An Unexpected Gift

About this time eleven years ago, my mom's cancer returned. Every year, the end of summer, up until October 1st (the day she passed) are typically a difficult time for me. Scott has learned to let me be slightly more emotional and continues each year to love me in a way that I don't think I deserve.

This year has been especially tough. I don't know if it is hormones, or lack of sleep, or the fact that I now have a daughter. I have been missing my mom and her motherly advice (more so than I did with Caleb at this age) and I find myself getting teary eyed when I become overwhelmed with the love that I have for my children.

God works in mysterious ways and comforts us with unexpected gifts. My gift came in the form a photo on a friend's facebook page. It was a picture of Kathleen with her two daughters - healthy and smiling. I began to think back to last time that I had seen her and realized that it was the day after her youngest daughter, Molly, was born.

Kathleen delivered at the small hospital in my hometown where my mom was a patient. I happened across her down the hall and asked if she would bring Molly to see my mom. Our families had been close at one time and our moms continued to keep in touch. My mom ( in her previous life ) was an obstetrics nurse for five years. She loved delivering and holding babies and I knew that seeing little Molly would distract her from some of the pain and anxiety she was experiencing.

Kat graciously agreed and brought Molly into the room. Any trace of pain that had been on Mom's face vanished as she confidently held this little bundle. She laid Molly down on her crossed legs and smiled at her little sleeping face. In that moment, she was a nurturer and devoid of any illness.

I have held that memory close to my heart, and today I realized that Mom's reaction to Molly would have been similar for any newborn, including my own. I feel blessed to have Mom's smile at that moment ingrained into my memory. And now when I wonder how Mom would have reacted to my children I can see her soft smile with eyes twinkling and know.

Thank you Kat, for my unexpected gift.