About this time eleven years ago, my mom's cancer returned. Every year, the end of summer, up until October 1st (the day she passed) are typically a difficult time for me. Scott has learned to let me be slightly more emotional and continues each year to love me in a way that I don't think I deserve.
This year has been especially tough. I don't know if it is hormones, or lack of sleep, or the fact that I now have a daughter. I have been missing my mom and her motherly advice (more so than I did with Caleb at this age) and I find myself getting teary eyed when I become overwhelmed with the love that I have for my children.
God works in mysterious ways and comforts us with unexpected gifts. My gift came in the form a photo on a friend's facebook page. It was a picture of Kathleen with her two daughters - healthy and smiling. I began to think back to last time that I had seen her and realized that it was the day after her youngest daughter, Molly, was born.
Kathleen delivered at the small hospital in my hometown where my mom was a patient. I happened across her down the hall and asked if she would bring Molly to see my mom. Our families had been close at one time and our moms continued to keep in touch. My mom ( in her previous life ) was an obstetrics nurse for five years. She loved delivering and holding babies and I knew that seeing little Molly would distract her from some of the pain and anxiety she was experiencing.
Kat graciously agreed and brought Molly into the room. Any trace of pain that had been on Mom's face vanished as she confidently held this little bundle. She laid Molly down on her crossed legs and smiled at her little sleeping face. In that moment, she was a nurturer and devoid of any illness.
I have held that memory close to my heart, and today I realized that Mom's reaction to Molly would have been similar for any newborn, including my own. I feel blessed to have Mom's smile at that moment ingrained into my memory. And now when I wonder how Mom would have reacted to my children I can see her soft smile with eyes twinkling and know.
Thank you Kat, for my unexpected gift.
2 comments:
Tarrah, I can't stop crying reading this post. The memory I have of your mom holding Molly is so dear to me, too. I felt as if my little angel, at only a few hours old, was such a gift to me and the fact I got to share her with your mom in a time of need meant the world to me. Your mom's face, at that moment, is one I have told my girls about, often. It was a true gift in my life to share that moment in time with your mother. Thank you for writing about this and bringing back such a special memory. I am sending you love and hugs. Thank you.
Such a touching post. I'm so glad I've found your blog, so I can keep up with you and your precious family!
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